Designer: SPLASH!
Base code: manikka
Resources: 1 | 2

found having only one song was kinda odd



so i uploaded a whole list of songs i listen usually n embedded to blog


Under "Etc"

list not fully done yet,but i got bored of uploading,maybe later

knock urselfs out =_=
12:39 AM

fail⋅ure

–noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success: His effort ended in failure. The campaign was a failure.
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected: a failure to do what one has promised; a failure to appear.
3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency: the failure of crops.
4. deterioration or decay, esp. of vigor, strength, etc.: The failure of her health made retirement necessary.
5. a condition of being bankrupt by reason of insolvency.
6. a becoming insolvent or bankrupt: the failure of a bank.
7. a person or thing that proves unsuccessful: He is a failure in his career. The cake is a failure.


Even if ur not a failure anymore,the shadow never seems to live,redemption is always so far away

Failure isn't just a stepping stone to success,but the events after e fail will lead one to success,but not a blissful one at immediate effect

I lost alot of things when i failed a long time ago,didn't really lose,i guess many aspects of my life were traded for different and usually opposite of value

The condemnation,embarrassment and solitude that a fail brings is something indescribable,its a very silent world,many eyes see you with looks that can pierce you.

Enough with the memories,went to collect cert today,couldn't do it yesterday

Apparently,those who failed and graduated at different time as compared to the normal period of time allocated for graduating do not have graduation ceremony

ah,i guess my graduation ceremony just involved me going to collect the cert from a gloomy office and walk out..

its just a feeling

as if graduating alone wasn't bad enough,I don't really got to enjoy the last moment in poly

its a feeling where everyone finishes what they came in to do,and walks out of the front door,while you alone because of a fail was given no acknowledgment,and walk out off from somewhere noone sees

Its a feeling that can't be put to words

I couldn't stand seeing mum's face after telling her that,I know shes disappointed,I'm always letting her down,I guess i'm just good at that,lol



Smile to keep others smiling,even if your crying,don't let others cry with you,even through the red haze smile so noone will know,so noone will be sad

Always hiding everything behind a happy face..I am
9:53 PM

Added a song into the blog finally,lol,it can be found under the "Etc"

Somnus,the theme music for FFXIII versus..couldnt find a good quality version on imeem,so i had to upload it myself =__=

yea so if you click the song you'll get directed to my list of songs in imeem(which haf yet to upload lol)

Guess i'll start uploading more songs tmr
12:43 AM

I..really dislike the rain alot

Maybe its because I'm weak that,even the weather can control my emotions

its the feeling of being shrouded away in the rain,amongst the pouring drops,everyone look the same,everyone just another person

The fear,its still there

the fear of creating bonds..its still there


because it always feels like noone ever stays,that one day,everyone grows wings and fly away,far from this place


Misunderstandings and assumptions I realize,are very dangerous,because they have the power to break people away,as easy as breaking glass

I guess,its the confusion,the loss,and the indescribable feeling I've been hiding that's made me retreat into my solitary world,maybe I just needed to blame something else for it and the rain took that place

The senseless feeling..


In a midst of misunderstood loss of trust,assumptions of one sides,cold wars of confusion,

the bonds broke

the bonds of a younger brother and..


the bonds of a very close friend...


In the end,even if everyone said it was never my fault,even I doubt I can forgive myself

strange,how at one point of time,2 people made the sky brighter
12:37 AM

I have finally got my reason to buy a PS3:


Final Fantasy Versus XIII!

The trailer was rly gloomy,hinting a sad/tragic story

After an interview with the creator Tetsuya nomura,it has been revealed to have a tragic story,and he even when as far as to say it will make the players cry for a week.

Now that's some serious claim! But possible seeing that he has compared the game to a Shakespearean tragedy.

And I love that it's gonna emphasize on bonds,the pain of not having any,friendship,the responsibilities,the joy and possibly the sacrifices of it.


That's a very me kinda topic,so I love the sound of this game and the basic outline of the theme,and very looking forward.

Not to mention,Ben likey the official trailer music,Somnus by Yoko Shimomura




Hoho,time to get myself some $$!
12:40 AM

We are alive for a moment
One second in the great abyss of time
All the bleedin', all the hate
Just one blink of an eye
All the conflicts, it visits dire pain on human life
Are we missing what it is to be alive?

One by one the pieces fall
Until our pride defeats us all
We learn to live without it

Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it's deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don't know what you've got until it's gone
Until it's gone

Our innocence is a virtue
But our arrogance will only leave us blind
Unattended without anyone to save our idle lives
Will we find out that everything we know exists inside of a fraction
Of a fraction

One by one the pieces fall again

Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it's deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don't know what you've got until it's gone
Until it's gone
Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it's deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don't know what you've got until it's gone
Until it's gone away!

One by one the pieces fall
Until our pride defeats us all
Yeah!

One by one the pieces fall (one by one the pieces fall)
Until our pride defeats us all
Defeats us all!
Yeah!

Oohh!
Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it's deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don't know what you've got until it's gone
Until it's gone
Wake up!
To the sound of this time bomb
Wake up!
To it's deafening song
Wake up!
Cause you don't know what you've got until it's gone
Until it's gone away

It's gone away
Yeah



Wake Up - Story Of The Year
2:26 AM

Its a strange feeling tt I get only when i'm alone,and contented,like a realization or a hint of the future.

The kinda feeling,that this is not it,this is not the peak yet,theres more,much more


Its the instant hit on a single,silent moment of realization,telling you not to stop,not to take everything around you into consideration as the permanent,but only as the immediate.

What and who is there because they need to be there at the moment,that its a moment to cross paths to learn,understand and get better with.

Its a strange feeling,a small drop of color,to a bigger picture.


The type that tells you to keep going because there's more from where that came from.



Maybe its called the call of destiny O.O


Then again,wonder how many people feels things like that.

heh
4:35 PM

It feels like I'm trying too hard,yet not enough

Which isit..
11:00 PM

Why do u do it even thought you don't wan to?





ah...cos,i dunno
1:57 AM

I was made to this...tsk..*grumbles*




A . People who have been tagged must write their answers in their blogs.

B. Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they are tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.

C. Continue this game by sending it to other people.
(Go suck a lemon,I'm not sending anyone this thing)

the EIGHTsome :D <<<*facepalm*

1 . What have you been doing recently ?
- Playing lotsa games,and quietly going out,by myself

2 . Do you ever turn your cellphone off?
- No

3 . What happened at 10am today?
- lol?HELLO,i haven't even woke up at that time LOL

4 . When did you last cry ?
- Its been awhile,I'll tell you that

5 . Believe in fate / destiny ?
- I choose my own destiny

6 . What do you want in your life now ?
- Alittle abit of this and alittle bit of that

7 . Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
- I use my brains,c'mon there are shelters everywhere!

8 . What's your favourite thing to have on your bed ?
- pillows,just can't sleep without em

9 . What bottom are you wearing now ?
- jus a shorts

10 . What's the nicest thing in your inbox says?
- Hp - "I forbid u to slp!U so pig!" <- Email - ssh..i'm not telling =P

11 . Do you tend to make a relationship complicated ?
- Simple ones get you nowhere

12 . Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone ?
- no

13 . What was the last movie you caught ?
- hmm,the exorcist prequel movie..its just ended

14 . What are you proud of ?
- My multiple talents that i rarely speak of

15 . What does the oldest text message in your inbox says ?
- "Proof at last!" woah..its from 2yrs back lol!

16 . What was the last song you sang out loud ?
- Pokemon theme song.Don't.even.ask.

17 . Do you have any nicknames ?
- yea

18 . What does your last receive text msg says ?
- Like i'm gonna tell

19 . What time did you go to bed last night ?
- 3am++

20 . Are you currently happy ?
- Its sort of a mix feeling

21 . Who gives you best advice ?
- I'll type here when I find that someone

22 . Do you eat whipped cream straight from can ?
- No

23 . Who did you talk on the phone last night ?
- Friend.Bleh

24 . Is anything bugging you right now ?
- Yes

25 . What / Who was the last person to make you laugh ?
- Cheryl -.-'

26 . Do you wear toe socks ?
- No..rofl

27 . Who was the last person you missed a call from ?
- Dunno,some prank call

28 . Have you ever had your heart broken ?
- Yes,show me someone who hasn't

29 . What annoys you most in a person ?
- Secrecy

30 . Do you have a crush on someone ?
- yeaaaa

31 . Have you ever done cocaine ?
- No,LOL

32 . What is the colour of your room ?
- White

33 . Would you kill some one you hate for a billion dollars ?
- Nope

34 . Do you believe in the saying ' talk is cheap ' ?
- Yes,I do

35 . Who was the last person to lie in your bead ?
- Me....like duh

36 . Who was the last person to hug you?
- I never got hugged in years

37 . Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
- I never kissed anyone before....oh shuddup dun laugh T_T

38 . Do you have a life?
- Obviously

39 . Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
- No

40 . What is the reason behind your profile song?
- I have no profile song,HAH in your face!

41 . Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
- Someone i nvr met in RL before,its weird i knw...wadeva

42 . Last time you smiled?
- less than 2hrs ago

43 . Have you changed this year?
- Yes

44 . What are you listening right now?
- Oh this sad music piece from Bleach:The DiamondDust Rebellion soundtrack

45 . Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
- MSN yes

46 . Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
- It closes and opens every few seconds,everyone's does *facepalm*

47 . Is there a quote you live by?
- No quote will rule my life..No tts not a quote on its own -_-

48 . Do you want someone you cannot have?
- Before yes,now no

49 . Have you ever played an instrument?
- Yes and i still do

50 . What was the worst idea you've had in this week?
- Non

51 . What were you doing last night at 11pm?
- Maple,sms,msn all at one go,yep,I'm tt damn good

52 . Are you happy with your love life right now?
- Don't have one at the moment

53 . What song best describe your love life?
- Every song tells a story,no one song can describe everything =P

54 . Does the person know that you like him/her?
- Yea,I'm pretty sure..c'mon i drop subtle hints now and then,sheesh,and some blatant ones too LOL

55 . Who always make you laugh?
- Alot of people got that way with me

56 . Do you speak languages other than english?
- Tamil,Spanish,Abit of japanese,a wee bit of chinese n malay

57 . Favourite website(s)?
- All the porn webbies in the world!Muahahahaha...ok ok No i don't LOL

58 . What's your middle name?
- hmm..Its either Benjamin or Elamaaran,i dunno which o.o

59 . What are you doing tomorrow?
- Going out

60 . What do you think you are like?
- Unique

61 . Who will you choose to die with?
- I go for immortality my friend,but dreamers are as they say,dreamers

62 . Where have you been today?
- Friend's place,KFC,Mrt station(obviously LOL)

63 . What game do you play often?
- Maplestory

64 . Who are you missing right now?
- Noone

65 . If you had to chose between a friend and a love, who will you chose?
- First,i'll shoot you for asking this,then i'll shoot down anyone else who asks,and then i'll choose both ^__^

66 . What are you doing right now?
- what a no brainer question..this 100 questions quiz obviously

67 . Which primary school are you from?
- Townsville Primary

68 . Name 3 colours that you like?
- White, Black,Red

69 . What emotion do you like to show?
- Happiness

70 . What is your life to you?
- Countless opportunities

71 . If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
- I'll go quiet

72 . Who did you last chat with on msn today?
- Jaclyn

73 . Who do you admire most?
- hmmm

74 . Which month were you born in?
- September

75 . How are you feeling right now?
- Mixed feelings

76 . What is the time now?
- 12.59am

77 . What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?
- a very emo boy

78 . What colour did you use to dye hair?
- I never did and never will dye my hair

79 . Why are you doing this test?
- Because I'm being nice

80 . What do you do when you're moody?
- Isolate myself from others,won't wanna spread the hate now would I

81 . At which age you wish to get married?
- 27,28,29

82 . Who is more important to you?
- The question screams "OPTIONS!" yet i see non..*shrugs*

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
- Tell my parents I love them and apologise i hafta go so soon,pass on my legacy to my sis,Tell that silly girl I like her,Go aussie and tell Eileen I'm sorry i couldn't help till the very end,and then die..oh wait i'll prank call Tanuki 99times and spam cheryl's inbox wit as many smses as i can before i'm gone.booya!

84 . Who is the person you trust the most?
- Myself,you just can't ever betray yourself

85 . Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
- saw it once,so why not

86 . If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
- Strangely enough,its called perfect love

87 . What is your goal for this year?
- If i state it here,i'll lose my motivation to make em happen

88 . Do you believe in eternity love?
- you mean eternal love..yep

89 . What feeling do you love most?
- the feeling of hope

90 . Do you really think its Global Warming now?
- yes

91 . What feeling do you hate the most?
- loneliness

92 . Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- Yes

93 . Do you believe in God?
- yes

94 . Who cares for you most?
- My parents

95 . What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
- Freedom of choice

96 . What will you bring when you fight?
- My invisiblility cloak! 8D and one of mike's destructive lasers

97 . What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
- Nothing,regret is for people who refuse to redeem themselves

98 . What would you do if no one cared for you any longer?
- Keep going,cos noone is meant to be alone

99 . What if your boyfriend/girlfriend two-timed you?
- Its over

100 . HOW DO U FEEL NOW?
- its a mixed feelin,good god how many times did they ask this stupid question?!




There,

Cheerios ~

12:34 AM

Ben hates cowards,alot..so much so he detests them.

so the retarded kid speak in guild chat when im afk and when im bac start pming instead to guildmates.

Rly stupid,Fked up kid,insults me when noone is arn,and now wad,scared to talk when i'm around?

so much for the brave front.

Its not easy being a Jr master,I cant and will not expel him just cos i detest him,i haf enuff ss n prove to get him either warned or expelled,but i dunno,i jus wan to let him live on..

but if dis behavior goes on,i seriously will not have second thoughts on expelling penwinjunior.



haix..even I can only take so much.
11:20 PM

urgh,com is finally ok again..one of the VGA card was faulty so acer sent someone down to switch to a new card..pffftt


I needa give my mind abit of rest,thinking alot lately,over assorted number of issues

Should i take e survey job offer i got,or should i try out nanyang portal for part time jobs in NYP itself,or try gelare

if that's not bad enuff,since my cousin decided to sign on in the air force now that his BMT is over,my parents(especially my extremely silly,irritatin,lame yet lovable mum)been thinking if i shoud do tt after my BMT as well

argh wth,sure his pay is gd(starting at 2.4k)n he gets a sum of $SGD20k given once his trainin to his new work is completed,and the obvious fact that in a year's time his pay will b over 3k..its..argh appealing

money money money..its like people can't ever do whatever they want w/o money,I knw my parents just want me to have a gd future but still..the damn sign on bond is for 10yrs

sure i'll get a heck lot of money,n i'll b earning over 3k+-4k before i even hit 25..still,it feels like there won't be any freedom,10yrs like it or not i'll b stuck there.No freedom of choice.it sucks.ups seem to be more than downs..haix..

Mum's right,I'm always too fussy,always was..maybe i just need more info on this whole signing on business

than again,how the ruddy hell am i gonna travelling around the globe if i'm stuck there for 10 damn years!!!!ARGHHH...i'll be like..wad..31 or 32 when the bond epires

so ollllddddddd....if i'm stuck in the army forever for 10 yrs,i can't go Uni,i can't travel around as and when i please,i won't be able to date pretty girls,maybe i won't get married =_=






.....


see,that's why I should never keep pondering over things too much.


*facepalm*
8:11 PM