Designer: SPLASH!
Base code: manikka
Resources: 1 | 2

Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.

- Edna St. Vincent Millay
9:49 PM

There's something about persistent guys who can't accept a "no" that just irks me.


Its like watching a sane person turn psycho =_=

The daily self delusions only make it worse.


Disturbing.
10:36 PM

"pain wants revenge, sasuke wants revenge, madara wants revenge, naruto wants revenge, the underground corps leader wants revenge...all the same reasons!"


lol,I so have to agree ;P




/
12:53 PM

I'm starting to understand how I seem to choose people.
How out of all the people,why I can only open up to a small few.

What attracts me to them,to trust them.
3:52 PM

Had a nightmare last night,first one in long time.

My nightmares never seem to be about ghost and those stuff,then again I wonder why people get scared of those anyway.


My nightmares only involve normal existing people,myself and a whole lot of helplessness

Dream of losing someone,not as in death(which is the first thing people infer with the words lose/loss =_=) more like,lose lose,hard to explain,we'll leave it at that.

pfft,It's not like we're that close anymore anyway,but it still sucks,that's the prob with me.

Once getting close with someone,for some reason I can't seem to un-attach myself should the need arises.Not that I really understood how other seems to manage it so easily.

I hate the helpless feeling that was so ever constantly washing over me throughout the whole dream,it felt so,miserable like I was losing something so important.

Like I can't accept it.

Its just gonna keep bugging me for the whole of today I think =_=

Dreams that use the weaknesses and the people closest to the heart are the ones that sting most.




That's why they're the only ones I refer to as nightmares.
1:57 PM

Finished New moon,not bad quite fast,well at least less than 24hrs taken to complete.

story wasn't too bad.


Time to start on Eclipse.
10:06 PM

haaah..wad a weird day.

Got a call this morning like wad around 10? or 9..I dunno i was asleep sheesh

???:hello,Elamaaran?
Ben:....
???:hello?
Ben: uh..
???:Hello,Elamaaran
Ben:ya,who is this..
???:This ur platoon officer LX
Ben:hmm..oh ya..er wait what,uh..i mean yes sir
LX:I need you to come down to Raffles city starbucks between 1 to 2 to fill up some important form,we haven't done it so we're calling all the ninja recruits back also to do this.
Ben:huh..ok =_=

yea,so that was one hell of a rude awakening dammit F5

dragged myself to fill up the so called important form..



that turned out to be an injury claim form..

the hell?! F5

I never got any injury,thanks for wasting my time F55

Grumpy ben ran into alot of his buddies tho.

So i picked boyboy to follow me around in my book hunt,since he was so free

book hunt..to hunt down the 3 twilight sequels,new moon,eclipse and breaking dawn.

which I found was hard to find nowadays.So i was explainin bout it to boyboy on our way to lunch.

LK: oh..ok,i bring you go to this bookstore,then the bookstore nearby all got 2nd hand bookstore also u can try there

Ben: uh..it sounds ulu,i dun tink we'll find it there,besides its 2nd hand u say..

LK: not all la

Ben: hmm (I only buy new books that are actualy still sealed >.< what,its a habit)

And...


The place really ulu F5

but on the 2nd floor,there was this bookstore called POP .-. like wth..pop
it looked like popular,maybe its some copycat store or something.

butttttttt

the store had all the 3 books *___*

which I of cos bought em at a hefty price of 47.77 x_x

after which LK brought me around interesting places that I can consider going to If i ever go on a date

like the toy museum(which is actually classy n interesting for something that sounds so..childish


and other stuff.


then we went to PS,by which i was already hungry,which shocked LK cos he didnt knw I get hungry very fast(well now he does) so we ate at that japanese place at the basement,and then he brought me to this DIY shop where you can do gifts and stuff,obviously by yourself(I actually asked e saleslady if she could help me do it if i bought em,but she just gave me a flat no.darn.)but man seriously you can change a simple white tin box into something really wow..I'm considering throwing my creativity into it.


And then one last visit to the make a teddy bear shop or something like tt..basically DIY teddy bear

Don't even ask why I'm going into all this stuff and sound like I'm shopping(which im not cos i hate shopping,very much)

yea.tt was my day.


ahem

Ok I'm off to watch burn after reading,I R goin on movie fest,just finished underworld 3 and Twilight yesterday.

Downloading The Day the Earth Stood still.

ok ciao *_*/
9:02 PM

Finally finish reading soul eater all the way up to the latest manga chapt.

sooo,time to start watchin the anime :D

pretty good,funny lol,at eppy 3 now,lol death the kid is cool,tho a crazy symmetry freak

*stares at Egyptian mummy*

Death:Right
Death:left
Death:Right
Death:left
Death:Right

Death:....ahh

Death: Its totally messed up!
Death: what the hell is wrong with you?
Death: you sides are totally different!

*mummy stares*

Death: I've never seen anything so screwed up in my life!
Death: where the hell are you from?
Death: Are you someone from bara-bara(screwed up) Island?!

lol!~
10:41 PM

Whoa,it felt good being out nearly the whole day,its been long.

Was still feeling moody n having randomly swinging moods,but I went ahead to the NUS open house this morning with Roy.Though given my behavior and Roy's response,it just made the whole outing rather..amusing.

Firstly I was 10mins late,Roy being the punctual guy went ahead to the open house (F5)
So I had to navigate around after reaching Dover.

Ben: eh Roy,so like where's the shuttle bus stand?
Roy: oh just go down the escalator
Ben: uh..but there's like 2 sides?
Roy: oh..then..hmm..Just follow the students there!

*whole place filled with students*

Ben:...thanks man,that's reaaal helpful,yea.
Roy: yea no prob,cya here man!
Ben: tch..

Apparently Roy won't notice sarcasm even if it danced naked right infront of him *facepalm*

Anyway honestly,the open house was boring,totally boring,but I accepted it for all its lousiness since I wanted to come out for once instead of being at home which is miserable.

Still,their open house was "one kind".For one,they handed out balloons to people.Like we're small kids ._.

*walking*

Random guy: HI sir welcome to our open house *gives a goodie bag tt looks like a lady's handbag sort*

Ben: uh thanks..(it was embarrassing walking around with it)
Random girl: HI welcome to NUS open house 09! *gives a bright orange balloon*
Ben: *the hell?!* uhh..No thanks *quickly walks off*

geez,do I look like some little kid that still plays with balloons..

Finally after walking around,mildly irritated with the crowd(I dislike crowds alot,naturally) found Roy.

And this Roy,was like some excited kid in a carnival,running up and down attending to all the different talks,as soon as one of the speakers say "for more info you can go to this place at so and so level" ,He'll immediately go there x__x

I on the other hand,didn't show much appreciation during the talks. =/

Well,its boring man..c'mon the guy in engineering talk kept talking about building new stuff,and creating bla bla,shape the tomorrow of the world bla

I kept yawning throughout that talk,easily earning some stares from people nearby ._.'l|

Science talk had pics of colourful stuff,so colourful,I fell asleep.
Luckily,I went in as one of the last so I was sitting at the back,phew.

Then Roy went running around the different booth in the admission room,while I just went around collecting free pens and sweets (only orange flavour though)

The only nearest to interesting thing there was the cca exhibition,though,most of the CCAs seemed..nerdy

We got approached by this cute girl halfway through,cute,until she started talking about her "political club" where they discuss bout political issues of this age bleh bleh.

Roy was giving her his 101% attention lol,I gave her 90% for awhile since she was cute.

*1 minute later*

I walked off to the martial arts booth instead.

Which was totally dissapointing,the only people attending the booth were people from kendo,taekwando and judo.Yet Aikido was in the list.

Where did the Aikido practitioners go F5

All in all so-so,The stage performance was crappy,this band came and sang some chinese songs though I just heard lots of noise and static from em,*shrugs*

Finally we headed to the food tent (like finally! I was starving and I had a bad habit of getting hungry very fast)

We got free coke,a bottle each,now that was the best thing that happen at NUS the whole day =_='l|

yey free coke

Me and Roy ordered Waffles ( mine was with honey maple syrup *____*) His had some chocolate fudge nonsense (bleh) I woulda gone for another one with,this time with caramel..if only it weren't so darn expensive F5 like 2.50 for one

And,the maple syrup so little...=_= 90% of e waffle was as good as plain,not to mention stupid Roy stole 1/4 of it(cos they broke the 4 parts of the waffle and gave us)

Clumsy Roy after that dropped his coke bottle and then proceeded to open it,totally forgettin the gas F5 ..and spilled it on both our shirts T__T jus abit so noone saw,man sheesh..

*anyhow open bottle*

*whiiish*

Ben: !?!
Roy: eh wth!
Ben: R-Roy..my shirt! dammit my shirt! woi (F5)
Roy: oh..oh crap,sry man..eh my shirt also tiok sia,nvm la,abit only,can't see,*give smart aleck smile*
Ben: *devastated* DUDE!your shirt is like..PINK look look! mine is white sia..its gonna b obvious..ahhhhh
Roy: Relax la bro..dun worry,won't see one

Took me awhile to get pass the fact that my brilliant white shirt got ruined,see,that's why I don't wear white shirts out,even though I like em.

15mins after lamenting over it and finishing the waffle we left..to the IT fair at suntec,so the deal was to meet another friend,WR,there since he was the one that asked us.

All was good until we got stuck in this MASSIVE human traffic at citylink,massive cause like..100++ people all stuck there not moving,like wth I still don't have a clue why noone was moving for so long.It took us 15mins just to get up the escalator only to turn and..

see another 150+-200 people stuck all the way through corridor.

We went back down(battling through the rough idiots who couldn't comprehend that we were giving them space to move forward) and went via the war memorial park instead.

Suntec wasn't any better,got stuck again halfway at tower 2.We decided to go from the outside(battling through the rain this time). Halfway through,stupi WR msg saying

"I'm at the IT fair,so crowded sia,human traffic,scary,I'm going home,haha bye"

Gonna kill him the next time,I swear.

The IT fair was a bore..totally,digital cameras as far as the eye could see..sheesh where were the MP4 players and stuff.I left in like 15mins.


All in all,It was an oddball of a day,but it gave me alittle time out from all my scattered thoughts,take little weight off.


But I still hate human traffic.Especially senior citizens inside human traffic,they have some invisible right to push license or something.

scary ._.



oh yea,I dumped the NUS goodie bag in one of the cubicles at Dover MRT..I hope they don't mistaken it for a bomb
10:56 PM

Its strange how I always dream that same dream each time I get too many things running thru my head.

Or rather 1 thing that just takes up alot in my mind.

Its just an empty place.Quiet,still life greeting.A place with me alone,it just puts me at ease,settles me,makes me dream,without an aim,without any matter of dream in itself,a dreamless dream there.

Its not yellow flowers,its yellow grass.

Still moodless,calm but confused

We're so good at hurting yet coming back for more

This is stupid.

I am afraid,but why are you

tch..

To lose you,to face it,to go pass,to stay still forever with the past regrets shadowing?

This is my burden.

Don't bother trying to pick these loosely scattered words and make something out of it,noone's got the key to this puzzle.


Its such a trouble.

Just run,like you always do best because I can't say bye and mean it,you're too significant.

Its like a part of me I can't throw.


Forget it. *facepalm*
12:03 AM

Decided to be a little naughty and spam gacha =P

15 tics wooosh



so-so I guess,but it'll be a pain selling em all off..nd to get one of em store thingies i suppose..how troublesome
5:11 PM

Ok,got a long post coming up about my POP (pass out parade) but its gotta wait,since its long and all.

For today we'll keep it at this post..for now.

2nd day of block leave,its rather quiet,alone in a way I like..in a way I've always felt familiar.

Wrap this up with this,rather fitting,and slow lol


Swallow People Whole - The Receiving End Of Sirens
3:45 PM

Getting aggravated very easily lately

Contrary to common thinking,I was never good with words,ever.

That's why its my gestures that do the talking often,never me.


Oubliette (Disappear) - The Receiving End Of Sirens

Been long since I uploaded any songs myself
11:26 PM

the unexplainable that isn't like me yet makes me,me

- How I hate to appear weak and in need,resorting to hide away every single burden,troubles and problems from the eyes of everyone else,masking every face that is shown,every smile that holds no meaning,every gesture to turn things from the truth that is but only a thin layer beneath the facade.Pretending that no comment bites me when it can torment me relentlessly if successful enough to get me.

Keeping cold to the eyes that can see through it all,the strangest thing is,


Hiding it so much yet screaming inside for someone to notice.

Terminus.

Kept listening to Innocence by Avril Lavigne for most of the early part of the day,got hooked,alittle,it makes me want to cry,no idea why,maybe it just sounds sad..or something
Maybe its the lyrics
or the music
probably just me
9:54 PM

Still can't stabilize my own head yet.Been constantly revolving from being moody,tired,frustrated,irritated,moodless,upset and tired since thurs *facepalm*

Funny how I can get sensitive towards a handful of people tho I keep forcing myself to not be fazed by anyone.

Makes me feel so..vulnerable



Hate that.

Now,pardon me while I go back to being moodless for who knows how long more.
6:43 PM

Decode - Paramore

No idea why I love this song,kept playing in my head throughout the week.
The music and lyrics really get to me.


No,its got nothing to do with twilight.















I swear D:
11:04 PM

When your instincts always that strong,and you've always been guided by it,
Reaching out to everyone by that alone,
You do not know what it is to understand,
That difference between you and the others,
The bond between the ones you love and the people who understand them,
Because you cannot comprehend,
Because you don't understand what it means to understand,
Then you stand,knowing what your missing,
Without a chance to fill it up,
That hole within you that makes you feel hollow.






Alone at home,listening to the drops of rain,and that's all I could think of to tell myself.








help
12:44 AM