Tuesday, October 20, 2009
>> news <<such inhuman act of rage and anger,I sincerely hope he gets the death sentence.
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Had an argument with mum about me being irresponsible and spending my money away without a thought
it hurts,to be compared and mocked,
it hurts when there's nothing you can say to fend for yourself,
it hurts to hear reality showing the truth about yourself
...
we're talking again,she's back to being same old loving mum..but I just don't feel the same,
I just
feel ashamed of myself
/
I decided to stop wasting money without any second thoughts.
there are people who are worth going out with and spending time and proper money with,
like for example the grasshopper.
Yet most of the time i only carelessly spent my money with people who just want me to go around to accompany them
its just so..selfish
"Its not good being nice,I learned it the hard way"
so did I.
/
why is it so hard for everyone to stop being selfish.To just stop and think for a moment.To learn to understand another person's feelings.
Today there was an event going on,and my section were being deployed,with everyone being in their formal uni,with only me and another in the non formal.
so those in formal uni are not allowed to clear the rubbish and throw it away,so because of that the juniors who are suppose to be the ones clearing the rubbish couldn't so obviously that only left me,and the other guy who happen to be the most senior and well respected guy to clear the rubbish.
Its no problem,I'm ok with that,its valid that the juniors couldn't clear it so I went ahead.
in return all i got was jeered and made fun of.
I doubt i deserved it.for one i never did that to anyone who cleared the rubbish before.
if that wasn't bad enough,the senior who was suppose to assist me said he had something important to settle in the office so I agreed to let him go ahead with it and return back to help me out.
..but he never did return,leaving me to clear and carry all the trash to the dumpster on the other side of the building.Twice,because there was more trash than usual to clear.On a blazing hot noon.
"Alright,he's probably busy with some important stuff,I shouldn't doubt my own section mate",I told myself and finished everything and went back to the conference room to meet the rest.
..only to find him there having fun n laughing with the rest.
what could I say when he asked me "eh,you cleared the stuff by yourself?".All I could do was turn away,trying to hide my anger that was so obviously displayed on my face.
Obviously failed,everyone noticed my horribly angry and mood out face.
sigh..I dunno,why is everyone so selfishly concern bout themselves alone,and not willing to lend a hand to others.
The only reason most help is cause there might be some reward or benefit or recognition to be gained by doing so.
If that's the motivation behind the helpful gesture,is it even of any value?
/
I'm just seriously upset about all the things I witness around me.
To be honest I won't be surprised if Mankind itself becomes the reason for its fall someday.
/
"you ask why why and more why,yet you fail to notice something important"
"what is it?"
"its not about why the world is functioning this way,but rather why you're not moving with it"
"I refuse to follow such sick ways,I can't,its like betraying myself for the sake of adapting"
/
I was gonna type "ka zhua miss grasshopper"
butttttt!
nevermind.
lol!
/
Terminus.