Designer: SPLASH!
Base code: manikka
Resources: 1 | 2

Neh,I'm really really happy for you,grats on passing =)




I just wish I could still talk to you as friends like before,and share the joy
12:01 AM

Well,everyone around me seems to be sad and worried,or generally upset over one thing or another.



One is worried for her best friend whose changing,unfortunately for the worse.Change is dependent on how much a person is willing to be influenced.We can only do so much,and you know she's not listening to you.We can at most only hope she won't change for the bad of things.


One is upset over the abandonment from her boyfriend.The fault was both,but you loved him and you're denying any of his faults and taking all the blame.You did the same mistake as I did;you let your emotions get the better of you and cloud your judgment,causing you to do all the wrong things and say everything you shouldn't have.In the end all the wrong choices that you made while blinded caused the downfall.








Noone deserves to be sad,but reality is harsh,and each time we fall we learn things,the harder we fall the more important life lessons we learn.But we gotta keep moving on,one day,these lessons we learn will be of importance,that's why we hafta learn it now.




/


I realize my own mistakes too,I was too dependent on you,always wanting your attention,and when you didn't give me that,I grew resentful and argued with you over many petty things.It was something I should have stopped but I didn't.I'm sorry that in the end my behavior only pushed you more and more away from me and made you irritated with me.I'm sorry I kept sounding weird when I try talking to you lately(but you didn't respond of cos).I just wanted you to accept me back as your friend.I'll leave it to you to decide that.


I hope you're doing well in school now,remember what I told,it won't be easy going uni from poly.I know you can,but you're really gonna hafta work hard,so do your best.










/
9:44 PM

Do you know that dreadful feeling,the bitter taste in your mouth,when something is ailing you really badly but you just can't tell anyone?
No,the reason you can't tell isn't because you don't want to but rather you're forbidden from doing so.

And when you can't take it and open up to another,the consequences have proven to be grave,what then will you do?


Tell me,because I do not know what to do,or how long more I can take it.













1 year left..1year huh? For so long I've endured this,and slowly and painfully,everything I held dear was ripped away from me,and no one could help.I'll probably be torn apart by the time it ends..

6:28 PM

Really nice song *.* I just stumbled upon it by chance on youtube haha! but omg the music is alot like Fictionjunction ,but man,the singer,Kawai Eri passed away ;_; that's really sad.

Got some bowling event on saturday,hope I can pull off a good score with my mediocre bowling skills =X

And yesssss driving practical starting next week! wooo super damn excited =D




lol! quite amusing,ok ciao ~
11:45 PM

Ok,enough with the depression.Its time to move on.

I did my best to put things back,but I guess the other person don't care anymore.

Have fun being ignorant as usual.

So its time to pick myself up and get going with life.
There's lots for me to do,and in another week or so,I'm gamed to get busy,much to my joy
And its pointless to embark on new things with a heavy heart and lack of enthusiasm,so I'm just gonna throw all the rubbish behind and get kicking,yea!







10:19 PM

11:17 PM

omg super busy/tiring wkend x_x

I'm still dead beat from all the activities haha


Lets see,starting from thursday when I had 24hrs,Actually it was suppose to be a normal 24hrs,SUPPOSE to be,BUT!

Thursday:

The strangest thing happened at around 11+pm.Our OC(officer in commanding),suddenly drove to our carpark,and parked there.Then he got out of the car,along with this woman,and the 2 of em took a cab to god-knows-where.At first we didn't really care,let him do what he wants,but I was wondering why take cab when you got your own car =.-

Then around 12am+ while I was on duty at the gate,he came back in a cab...and proceeded to go into the pass office.There he stayed for over 30mins+ and suddenly he appeared from the back entrance.

slowly walked towards the gate (where me and my friend were) then about 20m away,he stopped and just did some arm stretching while looking around(like enjoying the scenery)

Me and shawn were just gaping at him wondering wth he's doing.Cos there's absolutely nothing scenic bout the place!! its just a road,with a fence bout 10m infront!

Bout 10mins later,he started walking back,and he passed by one of the vehicles at the back,then he just disappeared! like ghost wth! After some scrutinizing,we realize he was staring at us while hiding behind the vehicle,like wth?!!!?! And he just kept hiding and staring at us for like 15mins+.LOL

Then he walked back to the office and never came out.At around 2am me and shawn stepped down and went back to the office to return our arms..gosh the whole office smelled of beer x_x
Ben was doing duty in the office,I think smell the beer stench until high LOL

Then it was my sleep break so I went up to shower,just nice,chub called me

chub:eh maaran ar,wake the rest up and ask them change to uniform and come down.
me:huh why sia,turnout isit? O.O
chub: no la..come eat mac
me: HUH!? what time already!! eat mac for wad sia at this hour!
chub:er..oc buy one..he asked everyone to come down and eat now.
me: o-orh.... *proceeds to wake everyone up*

I swear everyone was damn irritated to have to wake up at 2am+..to eat mac.I was the worse,seeing that it was my sleeping break and unlike the rest,I haven't even slept yet!

By then we all obviously figured that oc was drunk.Having no choice in the matter,we dragged ourselves down to eat mac with him.Oc was busy talking to ben.......bout fillet-o-fish LOL *facepalm*

I was like just waiting for him to leave so I can go and sleep..but noooooo,he had to sit there talking rubbish till 3.40am+ after he left,nearly everyone just went back to sleep LOL!! Really mad sheesh! Drunk until like that. wth =_= To make matters worse,friday was our chalet,so obviously we won't sleep during then so we really tried to get as much as sleep as possible but man..crazy oc messed all of us up x.x

And that was the most nightmarish 24hr shift I've ever had,so far T_T lol!

Friday:

CHALET!! haha actually most of us hardly stayed in the chalet,only went there for BBQ,met around 5pm+(all of us cept alvin woke up late due to lack of slp lol!)

The chalet was at hmm..costa sands,pasir ris,Super tiny! the chalet can hardly squeeze 10 people in -.-

BBQ was funny,I was busy going around taking random candid pics of everyone lol!gosh that was fun >:D There was far too much food,when the PO gang arrive,it got worse cos..they bought more food for the bbq LOL! omg la we see only O.O!!!!! lol!!!

Our platoon sgt brought a bottle of martini,but yucks,I hate it,I hate liquor and beer in general,drank both during the bbq,and I must say both taste horrible lol!

Liquor sux cos the taste is very hmmm strong? no matter what drink you mix it with,you just can cover the liquor taste x_x

Beer no need to say,I hate it cos it so darn bitter.Seriously makes me wonder how people can drink such stuff to the point of getting drunk.

Ben and alvin got super high from the martini tho lol! Ben was like talkin lotsa rubbish,non of which made any sense.And alvin kept singing lady gaga songs while bbq-ing the food LOL!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


After bbq we just lazed around inside the chalet,watching some weird monster movie one chnl 5 till 10+ and then randomly we decided to go to the E-hub and play some games lol!

Alvin and I found 2 tics on top of the fridge,each one allowing up to 4 people to take the Ferris wheel at the e-hub so we brought that along too haha

But aiyo wth the ferris wheel was like so small! plus indoors =_=' at least it was colourful,so me,alvin,shawn and chub took it LOL~ Funny sia there's this restaurant at level 4 overlooking the wheel,so everyone inside saw us when we went down past em LOL abit pai seh also cos cept us,the only other people who took the wheel was this couple. ahem lol!

After that,me zh,gl and vis went to play pool,zh was alittle tipsy after bbq I think,cos he kept missing alot of times and 50% of the time when he hit e ball,it jumped LOL

Then went to play arcade wooooo :D Me alvin and zh spammed bishi bashi and...WE COMPLETED IT WOOO! Finished the whole game! XDDD

Then lastly was bowling,we had to queue up due to full house,lucky we already booked a place earlier,so we manage to pool and arcade while waiting for our turn.

I must say I've gotten better at bowling ^^v
But darrel totally dominated the first game,beating all of us with a score of 155 O.O!!! crazy la he.

Second game was all chub's with a score of 121.Wth la the muscle man actually chose to throw a 15kg ball X_X

Finished everything around 1am+ and then it was time for...Night cycling!!

The route for the cycling was from our current location at pasir ris,all the way to changi and back again.Seeing that it was on the way,we decided to go visit 2 of Sg's famous haunted place;The red house and Old changi hospital >:D

Red house wasn't too far from the chalet,bout 20mins away only.The last time I went there was like over 4 yrs ago,so I kinda forgot the location..me and chub cycled past it w/o even realizing LOL!

Noone dared to go in though,can't really blame em,red house has far too many real life encounters to risk going in(tho I've been in once x.x)

Then we cycled all the way to changi.That was like the most god-awfully tiring ride ever! So many uphills and so little downhills,gosh! We had to feel sorry for alvin though,he sux real bad at cycling uphill lol!

Around hmm 3am+? We reached och,we tried the sidegate but it was locked.the steps leading up to the gate was super dark and full of leafs and vines.It gave off a really spooky aura until most of em dun wanna go up and check to see if the gate was locked.In the end only me,ben and zh went all the way up.

So since it was locked,we cycled uphill in hope of finding the main entrance,and wa la!~ The place was bigger than form the side,and wth la i dunno why they bother locking the side entrance when the main entrance doesn't even have any fence,or gate.We dismounted and pushed our cycles up this reallllllly long path upwards into och main building.

honestly,och wasn't scary..not one bit.It was more of a popular hangout area or something,cos on the way up to the main building we saw one group of people coming down.Then from one of the entrance to a side building,another group came out and left the place. so much for quiet and spooky T-T

The main building itself was well locked up,along with motion sensors and security cams,so the majority decided not to go in.(well I'm pretty sure the messages scrawled on the floor at the main lobby itself would have scared em lol)

With some luck,we manage to explore one of the side buildings,luckily I was wearing shoes,cos most of em who were wearing slippers complained of getting bitten by red ants lol! The entrance to the building was blocked off by metal bars,so we just peeked through.Dam dangerous la the place,cos w/o the metal bars,if anyone stepped inside the building and just walk 2 steps,they'll fall into a hole that stretched out for at least one storey.geez!

With no luck on any supernatural,we left the place and cycled down to changi village.Quite interesting the night life,we saw a few gays all dressed up nicely,seriously from far you won't know they're actually guys,but alot of em are dam tall O.O make me feel so short(I'm not short ok.I'm not! raaaar).


Reached the chalet around 5am+,the sgt's all busy gambling(via mahjong) we just parked our bikes outside and totally KO until around 8am+ when we returned the bikes.No way we can survive a train or bus ride home so we all shared cab.Me,alvin and vis shared one,omg la the uncle was really friendly but! he talked alot..to me cos I was sitting infront,dammit lol! Vis and alvin just get in and ko peacefully. ok la he didn't talk alot but he was really loud when he did talk,I fell asleep bout 5mins later.

In overall I think it was very fun haha and a good way to take my mind off things.


Spend the remaining of my saturday sleeping! lol!!! can't blame me ok,nearly 48hrs of no sleep T_T

Chub worse,after our chalet,he went to join his jc mates for another chalet lol! So pics will be up abit late I guess haha.

Sunday:

Was suppose to go for Magic the Gathering:Rise of the Eldrazi Prerelease tournament BUT AHHHH I OVERSLEPT T___T

Nevermind! I shall go for the release tournament instead,that's bout a week from now heh heh ^^b

Kinda excited,Life's gonna get more busy from this week,

Mandarin lessons(yes I am taking mandarin :D)
Driving Practical lessons (there goes all my $$ T__T)
Camp stuff (=.=)

Can't take piano lessons at the moment due to lack of $ for the instrument + lack of time so I'm gonna continue taking guitar lessons instead.Will start piano after ORD XD

Am considering registering for muay thai lesson >.< lol~~ Yosh that's a pretty long post,enough to cover my lack of absence here for the past week =D ciao ~

/


It feels so unfair that everyone else can laugh and talk with you but I can't cos you'll just get irritated,that's the feeling that had been bothering me the entire time,that feeling of unfairness where everyone seem to be on your good side,and suddenly I'm not part of those people.
6:07 PM

Guess you removed my access to your blog huh.



Seriously la,what has gotten into you?


From strangers now you're starting to treat me like an enemy =_= I really hafta wonder wth I did to get this much hate from you.

What? Because of my previous post and how I sound agitated?Well can you blame me?Anyone in my position having to deal with someone who completely ignores them would feel the same.


Are you so bend on removing me entirely from your life? If so I cannot stop you,but I do wish you would at the very least,give your reasoning.I deserve at least that much.


I'm not gonna do the same petty things that you're doing like removing access from blogs whatsoever.

Like I said before,to you I may have become some sorta new enemy or something.But to me you're still my friend and you will always be my friend.You will always have access here.














/
I have and will never walk out on a friend.Remember,you wanted this and so I've given you the freedom to either throw our friendship away or just put all this aside and be friends again.That is why no matter how much your actions hurt me,I will not respond in kind.

I will not hurt or go against anyone I see as a friend.This is my stand.
9:30 PM

Ok,I'm through with you and your nonsense.

You're irritated? oh please,you've no idea how much of your ignorance I had to put up with.

I try and try to fix things up and you turn a deaf ear.


Ya ya I'm always saying you're acting one kind,like hello? Have you even seen the way you talk to me nowadays? well maybe you should compare to how you talked to me before,then perhaps you can spot a thing or two.

I try to explain and resolve it with you,you flat out ignore.

Its absurd,really,like you can bring up anything tt bothers you,you can say anything bout me tt irks u or is odd,but I can't.

And the moment i try to,you go "i warn you ar.." bla bla.Like hello,I can voice myself out also ok,its not all bout you you and you.

Ask you when poly start also cannot? I got say it affect me isit? Cannot even ask meh?So unwilling to share any of the things that's happening in your life with me.hello its normal for friends to ask stuff like that.Even the small things that I ask,you make it sound like I got some ulterior motive for asking.Like ya ya,I got no life so I'm gonna stalk you to and fro from school,like please la,sheesh,wth.Honestly are you even the same person I got to know these past 3yrs+?

I'm sry tanuki,but I really did my best to put up with your sudden cold shoulder and you acting like "nothing's wrong and everything's my fault" rubbish.But you just keep pushing my buttons.


I went through so much lengths just to try and make sure it won't end up like this.I tried whatever I could to keep this friendship going.But it takes two hands to clap,and you're not doing anything to even bother.



Do you even care bout our friendship anymore? do you even care that it hurts me alot to see things this way?


Judging from the way you blatantly ignore my every effort to resolve things and how you just kept talking me down like I'm wasting your time,I'd say no,you probably don't give a damn bout anything we had.



Guess it doesn't bother you much to throw an old friend away seeing how you've got so many new ones to cover up huh.well done.

Like I said earlier in the morning,since you prefer I don't interfere with your life anymore,I'll give it to you,I've always put others before me,no difference this time.I won't disturb you anymore,ever.Take it as my last gift to you.

Thank you,for having been there with me through so much,for all the times you made me laugh and cheered me up.For the times when you'll get unhappy with me and make me learn my mistakes.And for being there to share my joys and sorrows with.Thanks for being one of my most closest friends.Looks like this is it.


Sayonara neh,Tanuki.

















/

In the end,you too were no different from the rest.Lying bout always being friends,only to walk away.
I will become nothing more than a forgotten fragment of your past one day,but to me you will be another memory I will never forget.Because Unlike you,I never threw any of my friends away.
12:55 AM

phew..finally finished my studio Ghibli Movie marathon =D

ok time to sleep! ~
11:42 PM